Once, When I Was Invisible...

The other night I went to dinner with my little family at an undisclosed location. Actually, I don't know why I am not disclosing it, other than the fact that I choose not too.

Regardless, of my decision to not disclose the mysterious location of our dining locale, something disturbing and unsettling occurred. Upon my visit to the ladies' room (notice my correct usage of the apostrophe), I could not get the sensors to work on the faucet nor the paper towel dispenser. How could this be, I wondered to myself. I had just seen a lady right before me use the very same faucet and dispenser, yet they were now not working. They were not sensing my presence. This presented quite the conundrum.


And then it suddenly occurred to me. The sudden horrible thought. What if, just what if, I was in fact invisible? Would these work with invisible people? Would the sensors sense invisible people needing to wash their hands and then needing to dry invisible hands? But then I wondered, if I was invisible, would germs know where to land, so is it even necessary for me to even have to wash my hands. I really did not know.

Really, though, one problem at a time. If I were invisible in the bathroom, would I be invisible out of the bathroom? No, because the waitress addressed me. So apparently, I was only invisible in the bathroom. That problem was solved. But what if I was invisible outside of the bathroom? How would my family find me again? This was getting really complicated. And if I were invisible, would all of me invisible? Meaning, would the food I eat suddenly become invisible, too, once it entered my body? This, then, made me then think of the philosophical debate I once had on the playground as a child regarding Wonder Woman and her invisible airplane and why people didn't see her flying through the air, even if they didn't see her airplane. One would think people would see a woman in the seated position pretending to fly an airplane several thousand feet in the air and wonder what she was doing up there. But I digress.

I realized then that I couldn't waste much more time pondering my own invisibility vs. visibility for much longer, seeing as I had no idea how long I had already been in there in the first place. So, I dug out a handiwipe I had stolen from yet another undisclosed restaurant, fixed my lipstick, and opened up the door to leave. Of course, it was at this moment that the faucet turned on as if someone was behind it. I suppose the other invisible woman behind it had finally gotten it to go.