Creepy Crawlies

Just picture the scene today, in class... 8th Period

Act 5, scene 3. Romeo and Juliet.

The students are completely silent except for one kid who is reading the lines for Romeo. Romeo has just waxed poetic over Juliet's beauty even in her death (even though she isn't really dead, she is just in a drug-induced coma, but details, details, I know). Romeo lifts his vial of poison to gulp it down. I have heard this same monologue already FIVE TIMES TODAY but am still attentive. Of course I am.

Until I look down.

There, scuttling across my podium in between the crevice that is made betwixt my book and the lip of the podium is a little tiny spider. My brows furrow. I try to flick it off. He scurries past me. I try to squish it with my book. No dice. Finally I grab a tardy slip a student had given me and attempt to do the humane thing and begin to slap silently at the speedy spider. It takes off after it stuck its tongue at me. (Do spiders have tongues?)

I begin to smack heartier and with gusto.

Finally the spider has no choice but to lunge for its own death over the edge of my podium, screaming and with its little legs flailing wildly.

[Exeunt Spider]

I look up at my class as I finally notice the stunned silence. I have nothing to say for myself, obviously. All I could possibly say at this point is, "It was a spider... on my podium..." What else could I expect as a response?

(Class erupts in laughter)

Romeo dies anyway.