I've been tagged!

One of my  most favorite former students on the planet, Danica, tagged me in a blog post of hers.  I generally disregard such tomfoolery but I am making an exception in this case because it is Danica -- I adore her and her entire family.

In this quest I am supposed to do the following:

1. Post the rules.
2. Post eleven fun facts about myself on the blog post. 
3. Answer the eleven questions the tagger set for me in the his/her post. 
4. Create eleven new questions to ask the people I have tagged.
5. Tag eleven people and link them on my post.
6. Let those people know I have tagged them!

So let's begin:

1. The idea that this list only requires eleven items irritates me tremendously.  I wish it were ten or fifteen.  I like multiples of five.  
2. I have had the same reoccurring dream since I was in junior high.  I have no idea what it means.  Interpretation please?  In varying locations, I will be smoking like French tart.  One cigarette after another.  In my dream, I just love the things.
3. When I unload groceries at the grocery store, I group items according to their characteristics.  All dairy goes together, produce, meat and poultry, etc.  That way when I get home I am able to put it away better.
4. All light switches must match in position at all times!
5. The smell of green beans can literally make me hurl.  All because my mother forced me to eat them as a child and guess what happened?  I hurled.
6. When I was a small child I had my heart set on being a waitress until I noticed they all wore horrible shoes.
7. Once as newlyweds, Jonathan and I were so poor and couldn't afford groceries.  I made dinner using frozen tator tots and a can of chili.  I made it two ways:  Tots on the bottom with chili on top and chili on the bottom with broken up tots on top.  They were both disgusting.
8. The only time I have ever tasted beer was when I made out with a guy who had been drinking it.  I am assuming it must taste better in other forms.  If not than the mystery remains as to its worth as a beverage.
9. I have grocery cart rage.  It's like road rage, but worse because people can hear me mumble under my breath at the grocery store.  And I can bump people's carts with mine and know I can't hurt people. Much.  But seriously?  Get out of my way old lady, and it isn't cute when your kid growls at me.  I will growl back and make him cry.  
10. Some people think I have a problem speaking my mind.  I say those people should be grateful I don't say everything that's in my head.  You'd be amazed at what I filter.
11. When I taught in the public school I was really there for the money.  (I KID!)  
12. Since #11 was a joke, I'll be serious.  As a kid, my favorite memories were spending Saturdays with my grandfather.  From the time I was ten years old until I left for college I would be with him from noon until five in the evening and take care of my grandma with Alzheimer's Disease so that my grandpa could have the day off.  Sometimes he stayed home and gardened and did chores around the house.  Those were the best days of my life and that's where I learned to put family first.

And now:

• Last book you read?

Okay, confession time.  I wish I could say I have read something intelligent or "adultish".  But I can't.  I have a new baby for crying out loud!  Or newish.  Anyway... I've started this new series called The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place.  It is about these three children who have been raised by wolves in Victorian England (I know, I know) and who were discovered by a man who likes to hunt.  His young bride hires a nanny from a school for orphans and who has an ambiguous history herself.  And mystery ensues!  I have just finished book two.

• Favorite song right now?

I am the most boring person on the planet in regards to music.  Since I am home with Blythe, I tame a lot of music down.  Right now, she and I love Mumford & Sons.  And we especially love Mumford & Sons Lullabies.  Blythe and I have also been known to dance around the house to "Dance".  Don't judge.

• Favorite place to shop?

I'm not surprised at all that Danica has asked this question.  I am about to divulge one of my greatest secrets; this is a place that I don't usually share with people.  I love this store because it changes its inventory once a week so the floor is always different each time I come and it is almost guaranteed that items will be unique.  While the style will be similar to other things in other stores, I have never found anything identical.  I hate looking like the same as other women.  And the best thing? Everything is under $50.  It's called Sexy Modest and it's in American Fork.  Conveniently it is located next to the best cookie shop on the planet.  May I suggest the almond sugar cookie?

• Best purchase ever?

Velcro rollers.  Hands down.  They come in all sizes and are available in any grocery store.  I use them all the time and are great for a quick curl job in my hair.  Yes, I said curl job.  Use them when your hair is just a tiny bit damp, roll it up and leave them in while you do your make-up, get dressed and so forth.  pull them out, run your fingers through and spray.  You're done and will look fantastic.  Store them in a freezer bag.

• Most embarrassing moment, please.

I once owned a black silk wrap around skirt.  It tied at the waist on the side and once I tied the bow it never came undone.  Not ever.  One day after school I was speaking with a male colleague (who shall remain nameless... but ask me and I will tell you) in the workroom about school culture -- of all things.  I remember it so clearly!  He was cutting paper at the paper slicer thing, and I was standing there holding my school bag at my side; the same side as my knot.  I get pretty animated as I talk; my hands flail and my weight shifts from side to side.  Anyway, as our conversation continued I began to feel something strange around my knees.  Pretty soon I felt a swoosh! and my skirt was around my ankles.  I was stunned.  I looked down then looked up right away.  Shocked, I said, "(_____)! My skirt fell off!" Being a simpler and kind of a country-type man, he turned bright red, and mumbled, "I'll just step out here and let you fix that..." He skittered out so fast I couldn't say anything else.  After I fixed my skirt I started laughing and of course went straight out and told the secretaries and principal, who laughed at our expense.  When I went home and told my husband he couldn't stop laughing and would actually see this same teacher that night in class for their master's program.  My husband marched right in, looked him straight in the eye and said to him, while pointing at his chest, "Hey (____)! I hear you saw my wife without her skirt on!" All the man could do was stammer, thinking he was going to get clobbered.  But then Jonathan laughed and finally, this poor man lightened up about the whole thing.  

• First kiss story.  May NOT be the same as #5.

I was 16 and so was Jonathan.  And it was our first date.  We went to a high school football game.  It was an important date as he would be leaving for a week for an ice skating competition.  As we all know, one week is a year in teenage years.  Neither one of us had our driver's licenses, so we were in the backseat of a car.  In fact, Brother Smith was giving us a ride home.  My friend, Sarah, was in the front and I can't really remember who else was with us but I know there was a third person there.  I could tell Jonathan was nervous as we got closer to his house.  There was idle chit-chat all the way there.  Finally, we pull into his driveway and this is the time he decides to plant one me.  He calls my name, "Hey! Cristina!" I turn to my right, "Whaa...?" And "Smooch!" An awkward kiss is smooched onto my lips.  Well... not quite onto my lips.  It was sort of there.  His top lip was on my bottom lip, my top lip became his mustache.  Messy.  Especially noticeable once he opened the minivan door and the cabin light turned on.  My trademark red lipstick, right there on the top of his lip -- just like a bright red mustache.  When he walked into his house, trying to avoid his parents, he walked right into his dad who promptly asked him, "Have a good time?"

• Grossest food you've ever eaten?

Is there anything grosser than caviar?  Because I really don't think so.

• What is your next vacation?  What are your plans?

We usually go to Disneyland.  We always go to Disneyland.  I have no objections to this.  This year Jonathan came to me and said, "Let's do something different."  Different?  So we're going to Galveston.  In Texas.  For Spring Break.  There will be beach and sunshine and water.  What we do beyond those three things I don't even care.

• Favorite blog that you follow?

It's difficult to choose just one.  I would like to highlight a couple.  I absolutely adore my friend's Mrs. Mediocrity.   I also love my friend's Mark.   If you would like to see more of my favorites, check them out here. 

• Celebrity you'd most like to punch in the face?

Believe it or not, this is the question I had to think most about!  I have so much hate in me that I should be ashamed in myself.  I asked for Jonathan's opinion, and wondered if I could just combine several into one person but he said that I would be cheating if I did that. Finally I settled on Oprah Winfrey.  I know, I know... who am I hate on Oprah?  But seriously.  She is only a woman!  I thoroughly respect her rise from hardship and difficulty and yadda yadda yadda.  I do. I really do.  But why have we given this woman so much power?  Why do people quote her like she is An Authority Figure?  Why do her catchphrases show up on coffee mugs?  I don't understand this.  She is a talk show host.  She is a producer.  She gives away cars and drops balloons from ceilings.  I need to stop; I feel a rant starting.

• Something you LOVE that you're embarrassed about.

Secretly, I love the cologne that Hollister is bathed in. I will walk past it on purpose just so I can smell it.  I think it smells decadent and indecent.  And I want to roll around in it.  This is my secret shame.

And now?

1. Would you rather be the neighborhood cat lady, recluse, or hoarder.
2. If you were on Top Chef, what dessert would you make with gummy bears, crescent rolls, slivered almonds and chocolate chips?
3. Do you prefer the sunrise or the sunset?
4. Beach or mountains?
5. What talent do you wish you have?
6. Who from your past, that you no longer have contact with for whatever reason, would you want to have a final conversation with?  What would you say?
7. If you could sum up the most profound emotion a person could feel in one to five words, what would it/they be?
8. What is the perfect superpower, or combination of superpowers?
9. If there was something you could redo from your past, what would it be? (No cheats by saying, "I don't believe in regrets blah blah blah...")
10. If you could stop time and relive a moment any time you wanted to, which one would you relive?
11. Who would win in a fight: Bella, Katniss or Hermione?

You're it:

1. Cari -- My sis-in-law
2. Elisabeth -- My niece
3. Kara -- Lady of Leisure
4. Chelsea -- Chaser of Trashmen
5. Susie -- One of my favorite school neighbor's
6. Sara -- Glitter queen
7. Jen -- Partner in El Mundo del Calcetines
8. Beth -- Fellow geek
9. Kelsie -- Fantastic former student
10. Katie -- My awesome "mostly" crafty spirit guide
11. Julie -- The absolute Queen of Pink